So I'm working on putting this list and the samplers together about an hour ago, when one of your wives reluctantly came in to buy one of you schleps cigars for Christmas. I always brace myself when the Holiday season starts like this. I've told you ignorant saps time and time again never to send "Sweetie Pie" in to buy your sticks. She's only gonna achieve two things. First, unless she's carrying a concise list, she's inevitably going going to make a terrific ass out of herself (and, by proxy, out of you). Secondly, even if she has a list she's gonna find out how much you spend on cigars and instead of driving the Polar Express home loaded full of good stuff for "hubby-kins", she's gonna be piloting the goddamned Bi-Polar express loaded up with pure unadulterated hormonal rage. It's a bad scene for everyone involved. I lose customers, and she punches your schmenzer loose.
At Watch City, we care about potential customer dismemberment. That's the reason we make up these nifty gift packs loaded with the hottest cigars of the year. We bag 'em up all gifty and discount them and when "Punkin' Spice" comes in, we stick one in her hand, charge your credit card and away she goes. No outrage. No hassles and no severed dinka-doodles. Just ask her for "Watch City's Top Ten Sampler" and save yourself, and us, the aggravation. You'll thank us!
This year's winners included in the sampler are
#1 Todos las Dias "Half Churchill" by Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust
#2 Futuro "Seleccion 109" by Warped Cigars
#3 Last Call "Geniales" Habano by A.J. Fernandez
#4 Winston Churchill "Belicoso" by Davidoff Cigars
#5 H.R. Habano Claro by Hirochi Robaina
#6 Excalibur #3 Maduro by Hoyo de Monterrey
#7 Blind Man's Bluff "Robusto" by Caldwell Cigars
#8 La Hacienda Superiores by Warped Cigars
#9 Arturo Fuente "Canones" Natural by Arturo Fuente Cigars
#10 E.P.C. "Oscuro" Robusto by E.P Carillo Cigars